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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28682025">faith is like a lily lifted high and white</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>hurtinnnit [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Gets a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,252</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28682025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>with l'manberg nothing but rubble at his feet, tommy finally snaps. everyone is forced to watch the child once thought unbreakable finally break down. </p><p>AKA i am a tommy apologist AND a techno apologist and while tommy fucked up i wanted him to voice his reasonings and he just. he's just a kid and he's hurting so much and it finally all comes out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dream SMP Ensemble &amp; TommyInnit, Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>hurtinnnit [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>774</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>faith is like a lily lifted high and white</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HEYYY ive never written for mcyt before so i really hope u enjoy!! please keep in mind i will not tolerate any sort of shipping or romance as these are real people's personas. this is all roleplay!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was gone. </p><p>Everything he and Wilbur (oh god <em>wilbur</em>) had worked so hard for was gone. The L’mantree burnt to a crisp, the van nothing more than rubble. Everything was gone. Images of happier times, of Nikki and Fundy laughing on the dance floor, of a picnic basket and blanket under the big tree, they flashed through his mind. </p><p>Tommy vaguely registered the way his knees made contact with bedrock as he slumped. Dust settled around them, and the sharp pebbles and stones dug into his legs. He sat at the bottom of the crater, arms limp at his side. </p><p>
  <em> “Look around, Tommy. See how happy everyone is? The freedom we’ve earned? It’s thanks to you, Tommy.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The blond looked around at the bright pavilion, eyes wide with wonder. His country… He’d fought and died for it, but now it was his… Wilbur placed a firm hand on his shoulder and squeezed it once, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You did good, Tommy. The people of L’manberg won’t forget this.” </em>
</p><p>Bile rose in his throat at the thought of what once was. Wilbur’s kind eyes, shining with pride and admiration, was all he could see. </p><p>Wilbur… oh his dear brother Wilbur. Tommy had given everything for Wilbur. Tommy hadn’t hesitated to follow him into war, hadn’t hestitated to put his life on the line for what Wilbur believed in. </p><p>And now? Now Wilbur was gone, truly. Even his grave had been blown to bits. Every last thing Tommy had to remember his brother by was gone, and he couldn’t bring any of it back. </p><p>“Look around, Theseus.” </p><p>In the back of his mind Tommy could recognize the voice before him, of course he could. Technoblade was stood on a ledge, jeering down at him. </p><p>“I gave you the option to sit this one out, I did. You could have had it all.” And there was bitterness in his tone. Warranted, of course, but it still stung. Deep down Tommy knew at least some part of Techno had taken pleasure in destroying what Tommy loved. </p><p>
  <em> Just like Dream… </em>
</p><p>No. Not like Dream. Techno wasn’t anything like Dream. Techno was… he cared… didn’t he? </p><p>The moon peeked out from above the clouds, shining down onto them. Behind the two figures, the remaining members of the server watched, anticipating one of Tommy’s trademark rage-filled outbursts. </p><p>Instead? The child began to laugh. </p><p>Eyes immediately turned to him, watching intently. At the bottom of the crater he was small, down on his knees and hunched. His clothes were torn underneath the battered armour and his helmet was discarded at his side along with his sword. His bony shoulders shook with each laugh, the movements growing in size as he began to laugh even harder. </p><p>Technoblade’s tense posture dropped for a moment, curious and confused as to what Tommy was doing. The skull over his face made it near impossible to tell what he was thinking. </p><p>Arms once dangling at his sides lifted up to the child’s face, hands gripping his blond locks and ripping at them violently. His eyes widened almost maniacally, pointed teeth bared as he continued to cackle. </p><p>Before long, the laughs had turned hysteric, and everyone watched as Tommy struggled to breathe, shuddering and gasping for air as tears ran down his face. </p><p>Still, the laughing didn’t stop. </p><p>“Tommy?” Techno had gone still, staring down at the boy. His defensive stance had all but fallen, and he seemed almost… concerned? No one else dared speak, yet they couldn’t tear their eyes away from the scene. </p><p>Without warning the laughing stopped, and Tommy went deathly still. His bangs fell over his face, casting a shadow and obscuring his eyes. Cuts on his scalp and brow from the battle had reopened in his hysteria, and blood trickled down his face. </p><p>“I could’ve had it all?” He rasped, voice hoarse as he repeated the blood god’s words, face still tilted down, <em>“I could’ve had it all?”</em></p><p>Tommy raised his head finally, coming to look Technoblade in the eyes. The latter reared back at the look on the child’s face. Tommy’s eyes were dead and cold, grey and withered, not an ounce of his once trademark blue within them. </p><p>“I gave my life for this nation,” he began, “I gave something more precious to me than my life for this nation; I gave my discs for this nation. I built this nation from the ground up with my bare hands. I sacrificed everything I had to watch L’manberg flourish I… I <em>killed</em> for L’manberg. I gave everything for this country.”</p><p>The others on the sidelines began to shift uncomfortably, and Technoblade was watching intently. </p><p>“I started this country with <em>Wilbur</em>.” His voice cracked at the name, lip wobbling as fresh tears pooled in his eyes, “P-Phil was never there he was always off on another server or with <em>you</em>... Wilbur was the only family I had…</p><p>And this country was all I had left of him.” His voice was hollow and weak, but in each word agony was swimming, and his shoulders were shaking. </p><p>“I could’ve had it all, Technoblade?” He chuckled humorlessly, eyes lifeless still, “how could standing to the side as the man who gave me shelter and a home when no one else would teamed up with the very man who took my first home from me be considered having it all? How could standing by as you and the man who took everything from me, who beat me and broke me down, who <em>ruined</em> me be considered having it all?”</p><p>Water from the lily pond had finally found its way to the bottom of the crater, and was pooling around him, trampled and singed lilies swimming in the mix. Carefully, Tommy took one of his hands, his bloodied mangled hands, and lifted a lily. He stared down at it in contemplative silence.</p><p>“Wilbur he… he told me that L’manberg wouldn’t forget everything I sacrificed for them… and yet the <em>second</em> an option to betray and rid themselves of me arose… they took it. Everything I did for them was worth nothing in that moment.” </p><p>Without warning, Tommy crushed the lily in his hands, and everyone reared back at the sudden violent action. Tears had begun to fall down his face once more. </p><p>“Dream he… he took everything from me… and everyone I knew left me for dead. I didn’t have people but I had the memory of when I thought I did. L’manberg was all I had left… and you… you teamed up with Dream to take it all from me.” </p><p>Realization dawned on Technoblade’s face, but it was much too late. </p><p>“I… I understand now that I hurt you but… but you, just now, you took <em>everything</em> from me.” </p><p>The rose-haired man took a step forward, movements shaky and unsure. He was frowning deeply. “Tommy I-”</p><p>“L’manberg’s the people, not the place, right? That’s what they’d say?” Tommy looked up at him so desperately, so agonizing as if he was begging for something that Techno couldn’t place, “That’s what they say but I don’t have people. The place itself was all I had…”</p><p>Tommy rushed out the words as the world around him began to blur. He was looking up at Technoblade but soon it all began to sway. There was a ringing in his ears and his body felt light. Muffled voices resided in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t focus. </p><p>“I don’t… I don’t have anything anymore.” He whispered. </p><p>The world went dark.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tysm for reading!! i'm hoping to add new chapters soon!!</p><p>i’m on twitter @anarchtica so hmu!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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